By Sheri LeClair Banitt
As the last day of the worst year of my life comes to a close, I am reflecting on the changes I have experienced. Some changes happened to me; some happened in spite of me and some happened because of me.
I could not have predicted or prepared for my husband’s sudden death. It was harsh and left me in shock and disbelief. This was a big life change that happened to me. I didn’t ask for it and I didn’t want it.
Many people reached out with sympathy, love, and support. I was thankful for the offerings but refused to look into grief counseling or support. I was sure that I didn’t want to dwell on my misery or join other grievers in theirs.
In spite of this, I was invited to participate in a 13-week support group with other grievers. I went reluctantly and to my surprise, it was helpful, and I learned how grief affects everything.
I began to see that my grief was following a very chaotic, unstructured, and predictable path, so I could relax and let it be. Here is where I started the work of reviewing the past, feeling the now, and hoping for the future.
In the past 43 years with one partner, I learned compassion, cooperation, forgiveness and independence as we forged one life together.
Now, without my partner, I have learned more compassion, cooperation, forgiveness, and independence as I interact with new people in new situations.
My hope for the future is that I will share great compassion, cooperation, forgiveness, and independence with others in need as I learn to be me, on my own.
Sheri, My heart continues to ache for you.
You have a special gift for sharing your experience in written word.
Thank you for bravely sharing your journey with all of us. So many people need to hear firsthand of the twists and turns that life takes after the loss of someone so dear.