Pet Updates – themillennialboomer

Meet Remi – Feral Cat Now House Pet

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Remi was born to one of the feral mommas in my community cat colony in April of 2020. His home was a plastic storage tub lined with reflective insulation and filled with straw, stuck in the lilac bushes.

He belonged to a spring litter from one of several unspayed females in the colony. It is interesting to watch how they are cared for by the mothers. They will steal from each other’s nests and care for any number of kittens of different sizes. Most of them were healthy and survived until we could intervene in about the 4th or 5th weeks of life. That is when they are old enough to eat food and the mothers begin moving them around and taking them hunting.

My husband would catch the kittens, and we put them in a tower cat cage in the house. We kept them warm, dry and started them on wet and dry cat food. They were hissy at first and missed the outdoors and their momma. But kittens this age assimilate into human life very quickly. Once they were eating and using the litter box well, we let them socialize freely in our house until new homes could be found.

Remi was the last of his litter to find a home. He had a cold and no one was interested in him. It took several weeks of intensive care before he was well enough to consider rehoming. By that time, we were in love with him, so we kept him.

The next year, we began to TNR (Trap, Neuter, and Release back where they came from). With the help of a local woman named Katie, whom I call Katie Rescue, we spayed six females that year. One of them was Remi’s sister. She still comes to the feed station intermittently. At six years old, that is a long life for a feral.

Though I lost my husband two years ago, I continue to care for the colony cats at our house. I do not own these cats and they are not tame. I feed them once daily and there are about 5-7 that I see consistently. I will continue to feed and TNR but my days of rescue and rehoming are done, (unless I accidentally capture a kitten or two).

Feral community cats are in every neighborhood. I encourage you to look for them. Feed and TNR if you are able, and by all means get your indoor pet cats spayed or neutered and vaccinated. Roaming pets contribute greatly to the feral cat communities.

Through the years, several of the kittens in our colony were placed with rescue organizations for rehoming. Please consider donating to and/or volunteering with a local rescue organization. This will help keep our neighborhoods free of sickly cats and dogs and will get them into safe and loving homes.

RemiScents – Supporting Community Cats

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Today I have launched RemiScents. I will be selling handmade cat toys made with homegrown catnip, along with hats for cats and fun accessories. Remi came from the feral colony of cats in my neighborhood. The money made from this will help me feed and care for my local feral community cats.

Through the years with my husband’s help, I fed a migrant community of feral cats. Twice daily for many years, we greeted 5 black cats and 5 tortoise shell cats at the food pans in the bushes.

I lost my husband two years ago, but the community cats are still with me. I feed them once daily now and the colors have changed, but I still have one that we spayed 5 years ago, which is a long life for a feral cat.

I learned about feral cats while gardening. When I first discovered a little black kitten living under the hostas, I left food out for him. He was black, so we called him Midnight.

He stuck around all that first summer and showed up periodically over the following winter. When summer came, Midnight disappeared and a whole litter of kittens appeared under the hostas!

We left food out for the momma kitty, and eventually we were able to handle the kittens with momma nearby. Just as we were about to catch the whole bunch of them for rehoming, momma kitty disappeared and took all the kittens with her.

Year after year, kittens were born in the spring, and the challenge was to find them and rehome them before the momma cat took them and disappeared. Whenever we found them, the momma would move them to a new spot. She often put them under the prickly bush on top of a pile of rocks. This seemed too cold, so I went online to order a cat house where litters could live until they were old enough to rehome.

At the end of the order form, it said “personalize your house for no extra charge”. I didn’t have a particular cat’s name to put on the house, but my daughter had a great idea. And that is why the Halfway House is located in my lilac bushes.

There are two humane ways of controlling the feral cat population. One is by TNR – Trapping, Neutering and Returning them to where they were trapped. The other is trapping and euthanasia. Feral cats can have happy healthy lives outdoors after they are TNR’d. Since house cats can sneak outdoors, they should be vaccinated, spayed and neutered. Even a brief escape can produce kittens.

I still have a colony of several cats though I have rehomed over 30 kittens. There is no local support for managing them. I continue to feed them and TNR as many as possible in the spring. Once spayed or neutered, a notch is put in one of their ears while sedated so you can tell at a glance that they have been treated. Money I receive from selling RemiScents items will help me feed and TNR the cats in my colony.

The best place for a cat is indoors with a loving family.

Beat Cabin Fever: Fun Indoor Activities for Winter

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

It’s Minnesota in February. The days are getting longer but it’s still snowing and blowing and cold. We haven’t been outside much, and we’re in between holidays. That’s what gives us cabin fever. We’re tired of being inside and longing for fresh spring air and budding greenery. To combat the feelings of malaise and boredom, we look for fun indoor activities.

In my family there are a few birthdays early in the year during cabin fever days; one in January, one in February and one in March. Birthdays and dinners and cakes are a perfect opportunity for indoor fun. A tradition my husband and I kept is the breaking of the wishbone. Both he and I recall being kids when the wishbone was saved from the Thanksgiving turkey. Then two people would make a wish. Each person would grab one side of the wishbone and pull to break it. Whoever got the bigger piece would have their wish come true.

To keep the wishbone tradition alive, we save the wishbones from our roasted poultry throughout the year. I wash them and keep them on the high kitchen windowsill above the sink to dry, so they are ready to break at each birthday.

So, cats. Housecats. They have never stepped a paw outdoors since the day they were rescued and brought inside from the feral colony. Yet they have cabin fever. I can tell by the way they are rampaging through the house yowling and scattering toy mice everywhere. They are tussling and fighting more than usual.

But the real tell that they have cabin fever is this. The three wishbones that were drying on the kitchen sink windowsill are gone. There are very miniscule bone fragments and a partial top of one. But only a cat would jump up high, chew on the wishbones, carry them off, and never leave a footprint. Then look me in the eye without a trace of guilt and meow for a treat.

Navigating Grief: Lessons from Loss and Healing

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

I have been reflecting on the past year and decided to log my findings.

Big life events that happened:

Husband hospitalized in April
Moved parents to senior living in May.
Husband died in June unexpectedly during a medical test while I was at work.
Life stopped and changed course in a day, without notice.

Prior to June 5,2024, life was difficult, but normal. It was difficult because we were trying to work, pay bills, and settle my parents while his health was declining. He had been diagnosed with COPD two years prior. We knew he was sick. He was on many medications and oxygen at night. Even so, he continued to go to work every day and give it his all. He declined all urgings to stop smoking. He went to the doctor reluctantly and never soon enough. He was stubborn, so I mistook his behavior for rebellion or defiance or something I was never quite sure of.

In truth, my husband was addicted to tobacco and was never able to quit it for long. Though he went to work and looked normal, his cognition was declining due to lack of oxygen. All the meds kept him in a “normal range”, but took a toll on his heart and breathing was not easy. I have learned that it is common with COPD to become depressed. So, he went to the hospital for testing and told me not to come in because we could talk about it later. He died while I was working and during a medical test where they discovered he had very extensive and late-stage cancer in both lungs. I think he knew what they were looking for and didn’t want to tell me on the phone but planned to tell me when I came in to see him after the test.

I celebrated our 43rd anniversary alone the next day. We planned the funeral and went through all the steps of closure: visitation, funeral, thank you cards, gravestone, paperwork. Many things I don’t remember, but many things I do. Most memorable are the people who came to support me in my grief. I know that this outpouring of love and care for both of us was pivotal in my ability to get through the hardest days of my life.

Goodbye to these things from 2024.

Regret and guilt for things left undone and unsaid along with other things said and done.
Worry about appearances and what others may think.
Withholding honest communication when there is something to be gained in speaking it.

Hello to 2025 and new behaviors.

Taking time for me first.
Making work/life balance a priority and not just a good idea.
Reaching out to others when I need help, and when they do too.
Appreciating every blessing every day and living with joy and thankfulness.

The First Thanksgiving

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Six months since I lost my husband. Six months of learning to do everything on my own. Paying the bills, yard work, pool care, dog duty, cat care, solo events, morning coffee, evening shows, bedtime. Washing windows, furnace upkeep, sump pump, dehumidifier, car maintenance, grocery shopping, sidewalk shoveling, clearing the driveway, church. And now a big holiday.

We have hosted Thanksgiving for most of the last twenty years. We work well together and are able to accommodate many people in our small house because of love and organization. Today is no different. It is still our house. It is organized. It is full of love. But it is missing my love. My partner. My Bou. We are now me. I am me and you are memory.

That is what loss is really about. It is hyper focus on self and situation. The loss is felt daily in the practical activities that are now left undone by the missing one. The feelings of loss come with the reality of doing things alone, depending on oneself and then allowing others to help. Asking for help and paying for services that used to come free from the one you trusted.

Letting go of what you thought would happen and what used to happen and what could have happened becomes a daily exercise in choices. You can choose anxiety, anger and fear, or you can choose peace, calm and acceptance.

I choose peace, knowing that he is okay, and I am okay. I choose calm, knowing that I am not alone, leaning on family, friends and kind strangers who want to help. I choose acceptance, knowing that I can move forward and embrace new ways of being in the world.

I am letting go and letting it be. I do not need to know what is next to enjoy what is now.

Happy Thanksgiving – enjoy your blessings!

Quarterly Milestone

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

My husband died three months ago. 4th of July came and went and now it is Labor Day. Another milestone we used to count the seasons. It is my milestone now. Such an odd feeling. Everything is the same, but my whole world is different.

I find something to love each day, many blessings remain. Still, I feel so much loss for all the things that could’ve been and should’ve been. As summer moves to fall, the garden has grown, and produce is bountiful. I take pride in the harvest and think about freezing it for the winter. The same tradition with a different outcome.

I have everything I need. But I miss the simple things we used to share. Someone to wake up with and enjoy coffee in the morning. Someone to chat with about anything that was happening. Someone who recalls my past and is planning for the same future.

As I prepare to see family tomorrow, the house looks the same, the menu is familiar. I am excited to see everyone and catch up on what we’ve all been doing. But now I do all the preparation alone. I wish he was here to help me and to enjoy our home and share hospitality.

I miss my husband; he was my partner and very best friend. I miss knowing what was going to come next. I had to shut the door on “You and Me”, but I’m leaving it open a little bit to let the memories flow through as I step toward my own tomorrow.

Feral Cats – What Should We Do? By Sheri LeClair Banitt

I am a Customer Operations Manager by day, and a Crazy Cat Lady in my off time. I live in a modest house, in a small town, close to the river. We have songbirds, eagles, rabbits, weasels, groundhogs, deer, coyotes, opossums, and cats. We live in harmony with the city-limits wildlife and they cause us no harm.

Though I have been feeding the feral cats for years, we recently ended the spring kitten explosion. Two years ago, a local rescue helped me trap, vaccinate, spay and release the 6 females in my colony. Since then, we still see four of the ‘Old Maids’ and have lost track of two of them. They come and go and we continue to feed them. They are healthy and tame enough for petting.

This morning, I had to confront the feral cat problem that I don’t see anymore. As I was dressed for work and in a hurry to lead an important meeting, I stopped out to feed the cats. There, in front of The Halfway House was a small tiger cat laying on the ground. It looked dead. On closer inspection it was a small, intact male who was emaciated and missing a leg. He was breathing. He was in very bad condition and suffering. I figured he could not survive and at 6:00 am I didn’t have many options to help him.

Fortunately, my cat rescue contact came thru and helped this guy out of his misery. She called for help and a very kind police officer picked him up and brought him to the local vet where he was humanely euthanized. I paid the bill and talked with the vet. The missing leg was healed over, so this cat had been living with an injury for a while. He was very sick with liver and kidney issues. He was starving and dehydrated. It takes a long time for an animal to get into this condition and they feel pain and suffering just as we do.

For 20 years I captured kittens and rehomed them. One year I trapped, neutered, and released (TNR) six female feral cats. For two years after that, there were no kittens. I know that TNR works. I know the cats are there whether we feed them or not. If we do feed them, they leave the songbirds alone and are less likely to carry disease.

Please spay and neuter your pet cats. Vaccinate them, and keep them indoors. If you notice feral cats around your property, call a local rescue to help get them TNR so they stop having kittens and we can decrease the feral cat population. Consider donating to local rescues so they can continue this work that benefits all of us.

New Lesson, Same Lesson by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Ping, keeping it real with Snuggle Puppy and Bumble.

I relearned a lesson in patience and joy today. My teacher was my little dog, Ping. He is five years old. I got him as a puppy to keep my old dog, Olan company while I commuted to work and was gone ten hours daily.

I had been working from home since the covid shutdown in March 2020. So, when she died, I was still home with Ping daily. Then, in 2022, it was time to return to the office. I go in now two days weekly, or whenever it makes sense for me to be there in person.

For the first time, Ping had to face being home alone; without me and without Olan. It really stressed him out, which in turn, stressed me out. I got him a heated Snuggle puppy with a heartbeat and that helps. He is also very attached to his Abominable Snowman, (Bumble) toy. They get him through the day.

When I work from home, we take a one mile walk every day. When I go to the office, we don’t. Now that it is winter in Minnesota, the weather is not always good for walking. I am afraid of falling, and I don’t really like the wind chills below zero.

Today I bundled up and headed out with Ping for our walk. It was four below zero and there was sand and salt on the path. After a block, he just stopped and held his feet up. They hurt, and he could not go on. I picked him up and headed home, grumbling about the cold, about him being needy, about me being so nice to him, but unappreciated.

With snow and blizzard conditions looming for the next several days, I decided to try again. This time, I put on his jacket and four little boots. Then I re-bundled in my boots, hat, scarf, long coat and mittens and headed out. The whole preparation took 10 minutes before we even started, and I expected him to balk at the boots.

Once outside, my little guy burst into a full out gallop. Ignoring the clunky boots and jacket, he began hopping like a rabbit on the same cold, sandy, chemical laden path he could not handle before. The sun was shining, the wind was cold, I was bundled up like a mummy, and just running with my dog.

We can prepare for difficulties to make them easier to withstand. We can take our time, plan for the worst and then take a chance. And when the unexpected happens, we can embrace the joy and just run with it!

When Harri Went Missing by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I’ve taken a long hiatus from the blog, because I have struggled with the many changes Covid 19 has brought to the world and to my life. Now, the loss of my dear cat, Harri, has pulled me out of my apathy to tell her story.

I have been feeding a local cat colony for many years. Each spring the mommas have kittens. We catch the kittens and find them homes before the mommas carry them off to the wild. Three years ago, a little orange kitten was caught. We fell in love with him right away. He was a rascally ginger, and we named him Harry after another rascally ginger across the pond. He fit into our family with ease, managing to capture the hearts of my husband and I, along with our other cats and dogs. He became our house cat extraordinaire and chief entertainer.

When Harry was old enough, we took him to the vet for his neutering surgery. They called me before the procedure to inform me that Harry was not a male cat, he was a female. She already loved her name, so we kept it. And that is how Harry became Harri.

For three years Harri snuggled, loved, and entertained us. From the beginning of the Covid 19 pandemic quarantine and working from home, she was always in my lap or very close by. She helped me cope with the changes and stresses surrounding the pandemic including the isolation and sometimes boredom of spending my days home alone.

On Christmas Eve 2021, we were excited to have our family over to celebrate as we had missed so many holiday celebrations in 2020. In the excitement and activity of fifteen guests and dinner on the stove, somehow Harri went missing. Our cats are fed by our back door and they often hang out there at mealtime. We think an unsuspecting guest opened the door for a breath of fresh air and she slipped out.

I was not aware that Harri was missing until late in the day and looking back to the last time we had seen her, six or seven hours had gone by. It is very bad for a housecat with no outdoor skills and no acclimation to the weather to be out on a winter day in Minnesota. We looked for her and called but there was no trace of her. The next days were cold, windy, snowy, and below zero. It is hard to imagine she could survive. Nonetheless, I posted her missing information on all the local sites I could think of.

It is now thirty days later and Harri has not been found. I miss her greatly each day. And I have learned, again, that I am not in control. Some things just happen because we don’t expect or prepare for them. Cats will run out the door without considering the consequences. A hostess in the middle of a gathering does not have the cat whereabouts on the top of mind. Cats are animals, and Harri did have a full belly, long fur coat and claws intact when she slipped outside. There is a chance she found a warm place to hunker down or perhaps a kindly person took her in.

People have reacted to my search for Harri with compassion and kindness that I have not experienced in a long time. Folks who might disagree on politics and public health policy are uniting with me to search for Harri. So many are praying for her safe return to me and looking for her with me. There have been four false alarms. Either the cat was spotted and not captured, or the captured cat was a male and not Harri.

I know there is much suffering in the world and many human tragedies that put a missing cat into a different perspective. I don’t know if Harri will ever come home. I hope she does as I truly miss her companionship. If she doesn’t, I will be sad and regretful that I was not more attentive to her on that day. I will also remember how my loss inspired many covid weary and politically suspicious people to put aside their differences and personal hardships to help a heartbroken woman search for her beloved pet. This is humanity.

HR Regulations Have Improved the Work Application Process by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I work for a financial services company, supervising a customer operations team. I hire for entry level, customer service positions and frequently get first time job seekers who are straight out of college, and displaced older workers, looking for a fresh start.

I have two specialists on my team who interview with me. We have a standard set of questions designed to help us find people who will be able to do the work in our area. Our job is to find qualified, capable individuals and then give them the tools they need to succeed.

Looking through the box of ‘Old Papers From the Office’ that my grandfather had saved gave me a new perspective on why we do what we do today. He is no longer living, but I knew my grandpa to be a fair, honest, caring person. His job was important to him and I recall that he was a lifelong learner and continued to find new practices that helped the workers he represented. Watch to see how far we have advanced in privacy practices since his day.