New Project Planning

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

I love to keep busy all the time. I have been a crafter from the age of ten when I knit myself a sweater vest. It was lime green with a white stripe and an apple and worm in the white band. I don’t have a picture of the actual sweater I made, but here is the pattern I used. Mine turned out well and I wore it to school.

Lately, I have been revisiting many of the vintage patterns that I once made and have been making them again. These are sweaters from the 1970-1980 era. But in between the sweaters and afgans that I am always working on, I like to have something that I can pick up and work on without too much thinking.

In 2023 I made a crocheted Temperature Blanket. I used one color for each 10 degrees of weather and then recorded each day’s temperature with one row of single crochet. At the end of the year, I had 365 rows of single crochet that made a beautiful blanket. It was a big commitment and meant that for 365 days, I had a huge bag of yarn and blanket sitting at the side of my recliner while the year passed and I could finish it. I vowed I would never do that again, and I meant it.

But I still like the idea of recording the weather, and now and I want to do it again – with a twist. For 2027, I will make a cross-stitch sampler to highlight the daily temperatures. I thought about what I wanted, and fed some ideas into my chat bot. The bot put my ideas into a graph that I can follow, and I put together a “kit” with thread and patterns. It is fun to have a project to look forward to in 2027.

The Art of Doing Nothing and Feeling Good About It

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Two years ago, I lost my husband of 43 years. It seems like yesterday and long ago at the same time. I was 62 when he died and still working. I leaned into work to help combat the confusion, frustration and loneliness of widowhood. One year later, my job changed, and I retired.

Retiring while freshly grieving has been challenging on many levels. I am still working to reinvent myself and fill my time. People have suggested that I get a job “I really love” or do some volunteer work. I had a job I really loved. I loved it because of the years I put into it and the expertise I had gained. A new job would require more effort than I want to put in at age 64. Neither do I want to rush to volunteer indiscriminately. The way I spend my time now will direct my future, so I want to be mindful of how I align my time, skills, and talents.

I’ve had to change my expectations of Retirement and the Golden Years now that I am single. Further, I’ve realized I have to take an active part in staying active. Aging is not easy. Widowhood is not easy. Retirement is not easy. Yet, if we do it right, we can find joy as we cultivate the wisdom we’ve gained over time.

While employed, I worked 40-60 hours a week, read books, did gardening, needle crafts and entertained without missing a beat. Now I do all of those same things without a spouse and without a job. I have so much more time and so few requirements and deliverables. It can be unsettling to realize you are the master of ALL your time. It has taken a year of retirement to slow me down to a normal, humanly sustainable pace.

The art of doing nothing is nothing more than living through time. This is different than being efficient or productive. It is being mindfully in each moment without wondering what is next or agonizing about what happened before. Sounds easy, but it takes some getting used to after a lifetime of raising kids, having a career, stabilizing a marriage, etc., etc.

Here’s some tips on how I do it:

  1. No alarm clocks – sleep until you wake up. Schedule things later than your usual wake up time.
  2. Take a nap if you need it. Go to bed when you’re tired.
  3. Stay in touch with the important people in your life – make the first move.
  4. Schedule a recurring coffee/lunch/dinner date with someone you like.
  5. Do something new weekly and take time to do nothing each day. Sitting with your own thoughts and no external input provides clarity on what is important to you.
  6. Read for fun, watch movies and TV shows, listen to podcasts. These were made to be enjoyed.
  7. Work on hobbies as much as you like. Learn new ones and share yours with others.
  8. Go for walks or sit outside. The sights and sounds of nature soothe the soul like nothing else can.
  9. Make time for exercise and preventive health care.
  10. Sing. Dance. Worship. Meditate. Share what makes you happy with someone who needs it.
  11. Cook from scratch. Use a cookbook, a recipe, a real oven and invite someone to share what you’ve made.
  12. Count your blessings every day and let people around you know how thankful you are for them.

I find that the more time I have, the less I do, but everything I do is meaningful, and I appreciate just being alive. I have worked for more than 30 years, I was married for 43 years, I raised two kids and spent many hours volunteering. This is my time to do me and while I’m still figuring it out, it is good and I feel good about doing Nothing.

Minnesota Summer Goodbye and Hello Fall

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

The value of sunshine in Minnesota is never more measurable than in the late summer harvest. The gardens have been producing, and I have been cooking, canning, freezing and eating fresh food.

Now it’s time to fill all bird seed and suet feeders and put away the lawn decor. The pool has been covered and soon the lawn chairs will be covered for winter. Geraniums have been replaced with sunflowers and mums. The leaves are changing and fall is on the wind.

Plants that were set outside for the summer have been brought indoors with grow lights set up to keep them thriving.

Soon Minnesotans will be raking leaves under autumn sunshine. Apples are ready for harvest, and we are making soup and chili. High school football games are in full swing.

In a land of snow and cold, there is plenty to do to get ready for winter. One little squirrel thought placing his walnut on the front steps would be a good hedge against the weather. Or maybe he just decided to leave winter prep for another day and ran off to enjoy the last of the warm days.

Food and Cooking in Retirement

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

One of the perks in retirement is that there is so much unscheduled free time. This can feel scary at first until you remember that no one is keeping track of what you do or long it takes to do it.

This morning, I am enjoying an Audio book indoors while the heat index outdoors soars to over 100 degrees. I will go out later to enjoy the pool, but for now, I am learning about ultra processed food.

Yikes! I have long known that processed food is not as good for your body as, well, FOOD. The book I’m reading explains that in America most people are consuming 80% of their calories from ultra-processed food. Surely, the author does not mean me? But he does, it is true. The foods we consume on a daily basis are created by marketers whose goal is to create profit and avoid expense.

You should read or listen to the book to determine your own takeaways. Ultra Processed People by Chris Van Tulleken.

Here are mine.

  1. The food we eat is the food that is available in our location.
  2. Even though lower income neighborhoods will have access to more ultra processed foods and less access to FOOD, we all eat ultra processed food.
  3. Ultra processed refers to the molecular structure of what we eat and there are a surprising number of ways to change or replace food molecules with this other stuff that is more marketable and profitable.
  4. Sometimes we can make simple choices that improve our diet, like eating fresh fruits and vegetables instead of chips and candy.
  5. The more ultra processed food we eat, the more advances are made to improve it so we will continue to buy and eat it.

That’s a lot to think about. And I realize now why my kitchen is such a mess. I have been cooking FOOD since retirement and that takes bowls, knives, spoons, spatulas, pots, pans, ovens, plates and cups along with veggie scraps, herbs, spices, recipes and shopping lists. Then there is the apron, paper towels and dish cloths. I have glass containers of staples that never seem to fit anywhere and a fridge full of produce in containers.

When you take the time to grow, buy, prepare, and cook FOOD, even for one person, it takes time and labor. That is something the average working person has little of to spare. But I am retired and have these things in abundance. So, I will try to limit those ultra processed foods and continue to grow, buy, prepare, cook, and eat more FOOD daily.

Goodbye Gas Grill

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

We didn’t get a grill until we bought our first house. It was a charcoal grill, and he was always in charge of it.

After the kids were grown and we had more money, he got a fancy gas grill. I was the indoor chef for most of the year, and he was the Grill Master from May through October. He had a few different grills, but they always sat in the same spot on the patio. We covered it over winter and opened it back up in the spring.

4th of July was aways the big family kickoff of grilling season. But sometimes we had Mother’s Day, Memorial Day and then Father’s Day cookouts on the grill with burgers, hot dogs, steaks and all the sides. Men have been “manning” the grills all of my life, beginning with my grandpa, then my dad, then my husband.

Since my husband passed, I have asked my son in law to do the grilling at my house. Two years have gone by now, and I have been looking at that gas grill and thinking I should learn how to use it. I tried a few times, but lighting the grill intimidates me. So, I put the grill and the propane tank out on the curb with a sign that read, FREE-It Works. It was taken quickly. I will miss seeing that grill on the patio and I sure miss seeing him grilling.

Today, I changed the tradition. The gas grill is gone. In its place is a charcoal grill that I can easily manage. Going forward I will be “womaning” the grill at my house. My son in law can relax, have a drink, and “man” the grill at his own house.

Moving on in grief is hard, but it feels good to let go of things that don’t work anymore.

The memories hold the joy.

Reset Day at the Gym

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

I hurt my back the end of March and stopped going to the gym while I recovered. After a trip to the doctor, consulting with a physical therapist and ongoing adjustments with a chiropractor, I am strong enough to get back to the gym. I was worried about the conditioning I might have lost after all the weeks of inactivity. I didn’t need to worry. My body remembered me. In fact, my body has been trying to love me for a long time, and my mind has been quarreling about it.

Somewhere along the way, my mind and body stopped working together in harmony and love. I’m not sure the exact moment or the exact thing that tipped the scale, but a few life transitions made it possible; loss of a spouse, loss of a career, smaller social circle, financial decisions, exhaustion and self-doubt.

Today, I became my own advocate and cheerleader as I headed to the gym and did my first workout in many weeks. My workout was fresh and new and my expectations were different. Though I was tempted to take up where I left off, I know that my needs are not what I thought they were many months ago when I began my fitness journey.

Though I am very driven to achieve more and do better, I realize that at this time in my life more and better are softer, slower and deeper than just “running the race”. My workouts now will be at a pre-determined baseline that I can achieve on good days and bad days. I will add to the baseline as I go to ensure I can do a minimum workout each day – and I will add in pre-determined increments on the good days. I think this will help me stay active and avoid the pressure of the perfection trap. That is when I try to do more than I am ready for and rather than finding inspiration, I find the childhood voice that says, “You can’t do this, it’s not worth trying”.

My workout today, was 40 minutes of successful movement. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t too hard. I started with arm strength training and squats holding weight and progressed to the yoga mat where I did core stretching and exercise for 20 minutes with a guided app from my physical therapy provider. I finished the workout on the treadmill with fast walking for ten minutes.

So, I’m back in the saddle and looking forward to many more days of joyful movement. I love that spring is quickly moving into summer and I can spend time outside and in the pool. I’m going to trust my own plan and measure success when I have balance between nutrition, movement, sleep, socializing, and stress management.

Life Lessons in Grief

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Surprise endings are hard to manage. I have learned a few life lessons in a short period of time; not by choice but by chance, or fate, or maybe God’s will.

I have always known I am flexible, resilient and persistent. Now I have the proof. When my husband died unexpectedly during a medical procedure, I was left scrambling to hold on to my faith, my sense of safety and some kind of vision for the future. To anyone who is going through a hard time, my advice is to just lean in, feel it, and let it be. You will be different at the end of your journey and with more wisdom to share than you ever imagined.

2 years into my grief journey, I can add these to my resume:

1. Ability to survive husband’s unexpected death.

2. Learned to operate sump pump, pool pump, pressure washer, hedge trimmer, snow blower, electric drill, and change a leaking pipe under the sink.

3. Cared for 3 dogs and 4 cats on a 5am/5pm schedule while managing work and grief. Includes cat leg amputation and subsequent cat kidney failure death.

4. Managed finances, taxes and bathroom remodel with a loss of income.

5. 30-day prep for retirement.

6. New bathroom construction over the winter months.

7. Sold a truck and a car and purchased a new vehicle.

Today I am in my pajamas nursing a nasty head cold. This comes on the heels of a back injury that has changed my schedule for the last 6 weeks. I realize that my body is telling me what my heart has not been able to.

I miss my Bou. He’s been gone almost two years and tomorrow would be his 67th birthday. I was there to celebrate 47 of his birthdays and I really miss those days. He was a quiet, humble guy and never wanted much fuss made over him. But he loved his birthday dinner with cake and tequila shots!

I have made so much progress as I navigate life alone. But I have been pushing to keep all things the same while also doing new things and trying to stretch and grow. All the pressure I have put on myself to just be strong and keep going has left me with a cold and a backache. Keeping all things the same is not the same as it was when I had a full partner helping me with everything. It is time for me to let go once again and just be open for whatever comes next.

I am exhausted with decision fatigue. Managing the finances, the home improvements and buying a new vehicle are normal life pursuits, but it does hit differently when you are making the decisions without the input of your second half. I miss my husband and everything he brought into my life. I miss being loved and sharing all the experiences. Making room for emotions is not extra, it is the lifeline to good health and happiness.

So, I’m going to feel my feelings big and loud this week. I will likely shed some tears and have a couple of giggles thinking about other birthdays. Instead of spending all my time worrying if I am eating enough protein, working out enough, reaching out to friends and family, doing enough volunteer work and keeping busy, I will spend some time resting and thinking and making space for things that don’t even exist today.

Once again, grief is teaching me to adjust my expectations, to be more present and less focused on productivity. If you ask me how I’m doing, I will tell you that I am doing well; and I really am. But doing well in the midst of grief includes all the messy emotions and hard days as you learn to let go of a lifetime of love.

Meet Remi – Feral Cat Now House Pet

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Remi was born to one of the feral mommas in my community cat colony in April of 2020. His home was a plastic storage tub lined with reflective insulation and filled with straw, stuck in the lilac bushes.

He belonged to a spring litter from one of several unspayed females in the colony. It is interesting to watch how they are cared for by the mothers. They will steal from each other’s nests and care for any number of kittens of different sizes. Most of them were healthy and survived until we could intervene in about the 4th or 5th weeks of life. That is when they are old enough to eat food and the mothers begin moving them around and taking them hunting.

My husband would catch the kittens, and we put them in a tower cat cage in the house. We kept them warm, dry and started them on wet and dry cat food. They were hissy at first and missed the outdoors and their momma. But kittens this age assimilate into human life very quickly. Once they were eating and using the litter box well, we let them socialize freely in our house until new homes could be found.

Remi was the last of his litter to find a home. He had a cold and no one was interested in him. It took several weeks of intensive care before he was well enough to consider rehoming. By that time, we were in love with him, so we kept him.

The next year, we began to TNR (Trap, Neuter, and Release back where they came from). With the help of a local woman named Katie, whom I call Katie Rescue, we spayed six females that year. One of them was Remi’s sister. She still comes to the feed station intermittently. At six years old, that is a long life for a feral.

Though I lost my husband two years ago, I continue to care for the colony cats at our house. I do not own these cats and they are not tame. I feed them once daily and there are about 5-7 that I see consistently. I will continue to feed and TNR but my days of rescue and rehoming are done, (unless I accidentally capture a kitten or two).

Feral community cats are in every neighborhood. I encourage you to look for them. Feed and TNR if you are able, and by all means get your indoor pet cats spayed or neutered and vaccinated. Roaming pets contribute greatly to the feral cat communities.

Through the years, several of the kittens in our colony were placed with rescue organizations for rehoming. Please consider donating to and/or volunteering with a local rescue organization. This will help keep our neighborhoods free of sickly cats and dogs and will get them into safe and loving homes.

RemiScents – Supporting Community Cats

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Today I have launched RemiScents. I will be selling handmade cat toys made with homegrown catnip, along with hats for cats and fun accessories. Remi came from the feral colony of cats in my neighborhood. The money made from this will help me feed and care for my local feral community cats.

Through the years with my husband’s help, I fed a migrant community of feral cats. Twice daily for many years, we greeted 5 black cats and 5 tortoise shell cats at the food pans in the bushes. 

I lost my husband two years ago, but the community cats are still with me. I feed them once daily now and the colors have changed, but I still have one that we spayed 5 years ago, which is a long life for a feral cat.

I learned about feral cats while gardening. When I first discovered a little black kitten living under the hostas, I left food out for him. He was black, so we called him Midnight.

He stuck around all that first summer and showed up periodically over the following winter. When summer came, Midnight disappeared and a whole litter of kittens appeared under the hostas!

We left food out for the momma kitty, and eventually we were able to handle the kittens with momma nearby.  Just as we were about to catch the whole bunch of them for rehoming, momma kitty disappeared and took all the kittens with her.

Year after year, kittens were born in the spring, and the challenge was to find them and rehome them before the momma cat took them and disappeared. Whenever we found them, the momma would move them to a new spot.  She often put them under the prickly bush on top of a pile of rocks. This seemed too cold, so I went online to order a cat house where litters could live until they were old enough to rehome.

At the end of the order form, it said “personalize your house for no extra charge”.  I didn’t have a particular cat’s name to put on the house, but my daughter had a great idea.  And that is why the Halfway House is located in my lilac bushes.  

There are two humane ways of controlling the feral cat population. One is by TNR – Trapping, Neutering and Returning them to where they were trapped. The other is trapping and euthanasia. Feral cats can have happy healthy lives outdoors after they are TNR’d. Since house cats can sneak outdoors, they should be vaccinated, spayed and neutered. Even a brief escape can produce kittens.

    I still have a colony of several cats though I have rehomed over 30 kittens. There is no local support for managing them. I continue to feed them and TNR as many as possible in the spring. Once spayed or neutered, a notch is put in one of their ears while sedated so you can tell at a glance that they have been treated. Money I receive from selling RemiScents items will help me feed and TNR the cats in my colony.

    The best place for a cat is indoors with a loving family.

    Cats in Hats and Other Distractions

    By Sheri LeClair Banitt

    I could watch the news and learn about the Minnesotan who died in Kuwait. I could check the stock market and see the change since last week. I could peruse Face Book for updates on ICE and find out who is making protest hats. I could go to the gas station and see how much gas has gone up today. I could go on LinkedIn to hear more about AI. I could learn about fraud and Medicaid cuts. Or I could sit around and make hats for cats.

    When there are so many issues to ponder and problems to solve, we have to choose where to put our attention and focus. Most folks I know are feeling unsure and unsettled with all the changes in the world right now. Yet we need to keep showing up with concern, empathy, resilience, and ready for action. We can do it; we are strong. But showing up takes lots of energy and we need to remember to recharge.

    I have found that busy hands calm the mind. And what could be more calming than making hats for cats? If you think this is trivial, let me remind you:

    1. Cats have been ignored by the fashion world for too long.
    2. Cats need not worry, hats will always fit, no matter your weight.
    3. Hats for cats are non-binary and can be worn without prejudice.
    4. Purses can be made to compliment the cat hat and provide a good place to carry the catnip toys.

    And seriously, we need to take time to smile and have fun. We need to be creative and joyful in the small things, so we have what it takes to manage the big things.

    What are you doing to recharge?