Make Room for Growth by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Pull the weeds, fertilize the flowers.

I am part of a new community that is giving me space to grow. I am learning what it means to have white privilege in America and how life is more difficult without it. I am growing my empathy and understanding for people whose experience is different from mine.

Many boomers are faced with the reality that we can no longe ignore the racism in our society. Some double down on long held prejudices and harmful ideology. Some insist they are not racist while upholding systems in place that limit the potential of our neighbors of color. Some, like me will be thankful for the space to learn and grow.

I thought it was good that I never considered race when meeting or interacting with people. But it was only good for me, because being ignorant about race and color is accepting the systemic racism that is part of our American culture. In the aftermath of the George Floyd murder, and the media coverage of the Black Lives Matter movement, I am becoming more aware of the racism surrounding me and more sensitive to how that affects people of color.

I am fortunate to be taking a class learning about digital media offered by Dr. Stacey Patton. My daugher who follows Dr. Patton on twitter shared a link with me where I signed up for the class. 300 students were enrolled and we began a Zoom journey together to learn how to manage a blog on Word Press. It was timely for me because just weeks before I started a blog on Word Press. I didn’t have any experience and didn’t know how to proceed. I could only add ‘New post’. Now I have learned to embed videos and sound tracks. Next week I will be creating a timeline of my own life.

While I appreciate learning about the technology that will help me with my blog, I feel that the greater value is in the community and fellowship of the other creatives in class. It is a new experience for me to be in the minority where I am one of a handful of white students amid a majority of people of color. I am immersed in a class of people who are the same as me and different from me. We are the same because we share a common interest. We are different because we experience racism in different ways.

The assignments we are given are creative and meant to teach us about technology. The topics are personal and we choose them ourselves. This is where I feel uncomfortable, privileged and frivolous. My life experiences feel normal to me; entertaining and fun. When I look at many of the other submissions, I see something more. I see people being vulnerable about themselves, their lives and experiences. I see pain and anger and activism and advocacy. I see real people dealing with real trauma that is happening in the same spaces where I live but that I don’t experience. And maybe that is why I scratch the surface in my writing, so I don’t have to deal with the hard problem of racism.

I want my classmates to know that while I do not experience the same difficulties, I have experienced some difficulties in my life, and that creates a bridge of empathy. I want to share with you the things that make us the same so we can laugh and enjoy each other. I want to learn about the things that make us different so I can understand what you need and how I can help you get that.

My heart is full of love, even when my actions have fallen short. My mind is full of ideas, even when I have not said them out loud. I am starting where I am, with what I have, doing what I can. I am a Digital Media Bawse in progress. Bear with me, I’m growing.

I am Changed by Sheri LeClair Banitt

On May 25, 2020 my Facebook news feed showed me the murder of a black man. Murdered by a white police officer while a crowd of people watched, including three other police officers. I watched. I watched again. I watched again. I could see he lost bladder control, I could hear his cries for mercy and his cries for his mama. I could see his body go limp. I could see a police officer, unmoved, in position, with a knee on his neck while the life drained out of him. I was shaken, I was sickened, I was upset. And I watched it again.

George Floyd, I am sorry for your arrest and brutal death. I am sorry this happened to you. You paid the ultimate price, but this happened to me too. In a different way, this happened to me. I will never be the same. I will never be silent when I see injustice. I will examine my privilege. I will speak up against evil. I will walk with a loving heart and a peaceful spirit. But I will fight for justice and I will listen and I will learn. I am changed.