#babyboomers – themillennialboomer

Christmas Prep Another Day

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Surprise endings are hard to manage, but I have always been flexible, resilient and persistent. To anyone who is going through a hard time, my advice is to just lean in, feel it, let it be, and this too shall pass. You will be different at the end of your journey with wisdom to share.

On the 3rd of December, it is snowy and cold in Minnesota. That is nothing new. What is new for me is that I am a RECENT WIDOW and now RETIRED with many hours to fill.

While most people are prepping for Christmas, I am in a holding mode for now. Here are the challenges I am facing.

Waiting for a home remodel project to begin any day that involves much de-construction, dust and commotion.
Providing foster care for a 14-week-old kitten who thinks I’m his momma. he follows me everywhere and has learned how to start the dust buster.
Family situations have changed, and I will not be hosting large numbers this holiday.

Today, I want to be positive and productive, so I planned my day accordingly. Instead of baking or decorating the house, I used my little electric snowblower to clear the backyard pathways for the shivering dogs to do their business. The snow is still fluffy and sparkly, and it felt good to be out in the crisp air moving around. I have a service to do the driveway and front walk because a little of this goes a long way.

I thought about going shopping and remembered something I heard on a Tik Tok: “You don’t need stuff, you’re just bored”. Seems spot on. Decided to organize the pantry instead and came across some Almond Butter and Peanut Butter. Great day to do a taste test. They are both delicious, both produced in the United States, and both provide protein and healthy fats and minerals. I wonder how long it will take me to eat all this butter.

For the afternoon, I have planned to go to the Fitness Center for a workout, followed by other indoor activities. I will likely do some laundry, vacuuming and work on a small crochet project.

These quiet slow days of retirement leave me a bit unsettled, but I am enjoying this time while I think about what will come next. After more than 30 years of working and 43 years of marriage, I do not want to rush into any new commitments. Rather I am enjoying just being a human and visiting with family. I have more time to make new friends and reconnect with old ones.

Christmas will come whether I bake and decorate or not. So, I will remember the words of the poem How the Grinch Stole Christmas written by Dr. Suess, when the Grinch realized that “Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more”.

Enjoy your day!

Lace Crochet

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

I remember working on this lace tablecloth in the mid to late 1990s, a time when I was working and raising two young girls. I had made one in the Queen Anne’s lace pattern for my grandma and a different pattern for my mom. This tablecloth was going to be for me. It was size 20 cotton and a size 1 hook. Once you know the pattern, it is a mindless distraction while you watch television or during any seated delay like a doctor’s waiting room.

I pulled it out of a drawer today and wondered what stopped me from finishing it. It measures 50″ x 30″ now. When I saw the coffee stains, I realized they were the showstopper. I must’ve put it aside thinking I would soak out the stains another day. And here we are. Another day, thirty some years later.

Moving an unfinished project from here to there for thirty years seems a bit lazy. But crafters know the toll lace crochet takes on hands and fingers. For me, keeping this one was more like an exercise of hope and optimism. Surely the day would come when I had time to fix and finish this piece.

Today is the day. But as with the passing of time, comes the wisdom of age. I am no longer the young woman who started this piece and my hands and arms boast arthritis as testament to my past fervor. Anything I make now must have clear and finite rules for utilization and completion.

I will wash and remove the coffee stains, and this dresser scarf will be finished!

Adventures at the Gym

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Life has given me many opportunities to pivot recently. With many things out of my control, I have been focusing on the things I can control and looking for new ways of being.

Shortly after my husband died unexpectedly, I realized I needed something to give me a lift when other things were definitely pulling me down. That is when I joined a gym and signed up for an hour of training, 2 days each week.

The first few sessions with Javier were awkward, frustrating, and exhilarating at the same time. It had been so long since I paid attention to my body and movement, so it was surprising to see where I had to begin. But he calmly showed me what to do and explained the correct form. He laughed when I laughed and cried when I cried but always kept me working on the task at hand, even when I reminded him that I had no muscles.

I stopped training with Javier to focus on work as we went back to the office three days a week but kept my gym membership. I continued to work out once or twice weekly. I was maintaining but not progressing with my fitness.

Fast forward to today. I am retired and have more time to focus on me. Now I have decided to get out of my mind and into my body. I joined an 8-week, one hour each week, group training session. There are four of us ladies working to be healthier and stronger selves. We are working on balance and flexibility. Whew! It is hard. I am sore after every move and sometimes it takes a few tries to even do the moves!

Trainer Sarah says her goal for me is to change my self-talk from negative to positive. Thanks Sarah, I like that plan and I will work on it, especially when my negative self-talk comes out as humor. Because while humor is fun, my brain believes the literal and if my self-talk magnifies my fears and weak points, I won’t make the progress I am looking for. And I do want to progress. I want to feel strong and healthy in all circumstances.

The assignment for me is to keep an exercise log. I should write down what I did and how it made me feel. Sarah says I will see changes over time that will validate all the work I am putting into my health journey.

Here’s my first log entry: August 7, 2025. I woke up early worried about my training session. There were things I wanted to do last week that were hard and I was sore for a few days afterward. To build up my courage to go, I told myself I could always stop if it was too hard. I got to the gym a few minutes early and hopped on a treadmill. I was able to do one thing this week that I was afraid to do last week, and it was fine. I did all the exercises and stretches even when they were hard. I felt good leaving and plan to do cardio every other day and strength training the other days.

Cheers to the mind/body connection.

Embracing Change: My Journey to Retirement

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

The only thing constant is change. But then why does it come as a surprise? Recent changes at work demanded I make a decision. I chose peace, I chose calm, I chose me. I will retire after 15 and a half years with my current employer, and over 30 years as a working adult.

I did not want to retire now because I am just starting to heal after my husband died suddenly a year ago. I have always loved working and truly love my current employer and the job I am leaving. I don’t think waiting longer would make the leaving easier, but it may have given me more time to process and consider the upcoming changes.

I have so many great memories of my working life. I have enjoyed all of my jobs, all of the people I worked with and all the hubbub of getting ready, getting there, doing the job, and going home. From the office potlucks to the well wishes after I broke my arm, to working from home during the pandemic, I loved it all. I would not trade a minute of it for anything. I hope I am thought of kindly and that I have made a difference to the ones who made a difference to me.

Now that this chapter is coming to a close, I am left to contemplate the future. Without my husband of 43 years, the celebration rings hollow. He was supposed to be here with me in retirement. We were going to finally relax and travel and just take it easy. Now I am on my own trying to figure out how to be me without him.

With all of the usual challenges of building a life and home and raising kids, we kept it simple. We made do with what we had and saved money. We were comfortable but never wasted money or lived in luxury. So, now he is gone, I am ending my career, and I have the nest egg to use on my own.

I miss my husband, my best friend. I want to lean on him and tell him my fear of being alone and not having enough to do. But I remember watching many others transition to retirement. And I do recall the stress and bewilderment they faced as their daily reality shifted down to a more gentle and leisurely pace. With time, they all worked it out and found plenty of things to do and people to see. When I get overwhelmed, I think about the three things that were most important to us in our marriage: faith, hope, and love. I will lean on these three and go forward with joy and purpose.

Know the Passwords

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Yes, really, you need to know the passwords. There is no way around the paperwork when a spouse dies and you need to change accounts, bills, ownership papers, service agreements, and subscriptions. Some of these will be easier to accomplish than others.

Maybe you have a joint checking account and both names are on the mortgage. But you’re still going to need the passwords to get online and see balances to update things.

For a boomer widow like me, you likely have the utility bills in his name. You need to change them so if you ever have a service issue, you will be able to call for help, and they will be able to speak to you instead of the deceased account owner. It is exhausting to explain your story over and over again to each customer service rep as your work your way through your life’s paperwork.

You should have all the passwords located in a secure place that you and your spouse have access to. You should list all the monthly bills, the website/email addresses and your account numbers. Each of you should understand who pays for what and what to do if that one is ill or passes away.

Knowing the passwords to all of each other’s stuff will make it easier to step in if one of you goes missing. Knowing the passwords means you talked about all the things that make life convenient and comfortable. Knowing the passwords means you trust each other and share the important things.

I am fortunate because I know the passwords. In the most difficult time of my life, I have the key to convenience and comfort. This helps as I work through my fresh grief and begin to walk alone.

Is it STILL WINTER?! by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I live in Minnesota and it’s no secret the winters are long here. That’s why we have hotdish for dinner and go ice fishing for fun. But there is a chasm between Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day that can wear on the heartiest of Minnesotans. And today, that one is me, and I’m not feeling very hearty.

We’ve had ice, then snow, then ice, and then snow and today it was rain. Tomorrow will be colder and then Wednesday it will snow. The monotony of indoors is getting to me, so I had to get creative and think of something new to do.

I have a craft room and a sewing machine and neither have had much use lately. I wanted to do an easy project that would yield quick results, so I decided to make potholders. Seems easy, sounds fun.

Here’s what I bought: Insul Bright, insulated lining, cotton batting, green thread, shamrock print fabric, green print fabric. I already have the sewing machine, scissors, cutting wheel and fabric iron.

I had to get out the sewing machine book to figure out the settings that would go thru two liners and two fabrics, including rolled up edges. This was not easy, it was not even very fun. But I did finally use all of my project tools and materials that I have assembled during moments of high crafting aspirations and whirlwind shopping adventures.

In the end I did create two potholders. All tolled, the cost of each was a little more than $32.00.

I really hope the snow and rain and slush and ice melt away soon. I am just not sure if I have what it takes to finish my Irish potholders and move on to the Easter Bunny collection.

New Lesson, Same Lesson by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Ping, keeping it real with Snuggle Puppy and Bumble.

I relearned a lesson in patience and joy today. My teacher was my little dog, Ping. He is five years old. I got him as a puppy to keep my old dog, Olan company while I commuted to work and was gone ten hours daily.

I had been working from home since the covid shutdown in March 2020. So, when she died, I was still home with Ping daily. Then, in 2022, it was time to return to the office. I go in now two days weekly, or whenever it makes sense for me to be there in person.

For the first time, Ping had to face being home alone; without me and without Olan. It really stressed him out, which in turn, stressed me out. I got him a heated Snuggle puppy with a heartbeat and that helps. He is also very attached to his Abominable Snowman, (Bumble) toy. They get him through the day.

When I work from home, we take a one mile walk every day. When I go to the office, we don’t. Now that it is winter in Minnesota, the weather is not always good for walking. I am afraid of falling, and I don’t really like the wind chills below zero.

Today I bundled up and headed out with Ping for our walk. It was four below zero and there was sand and salt on the path. After a block, he just stopped and held his feet up. They hurt, and he could not go on. I picked him up and headed home, grumbling about the cold, about him being needy, about me being so nice to him, but unappreciated.

With snow and blizzard conditions looming for the next several days, I decided to try again. This time, I put on his jacket and four little boots. Then I re-bundled in my boots, hat, scarf, long coat and mittens and headed out. The whole preparation took 10 minutes before we even started, and I expected him to balk at the boots.

Once outside, my little guy burst into a full out gallop. Ignoring the clunky boots and jacket, he began hopping like a rabbit on the same cold, sandy, chemical laden path he could not handle before. The sun was shining, the wind was cold, I was bundled up like a mummy, and just running with my dog.

We can prepare for difficulties to make them easier to withstand. We can take our time, plan for the worst and then take a chance. And when the unexpected happens, we can embrace the joy and just run with it!

When Harri Went Missing by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I’ve taken a long hiatus from the blog, because I have struggled with the many changes Covid 19 has brought to the world and to my life. Now, the loss of my dear cat, Harri, has pulled me out of my apathy to tell her story.

I have been feeding a local cat colony for many years. Each spring the mommas have kittens. We catch the kittens and find them homes before the mommas carry them off to the wild. Three years ago, a little orange kitten was caught. We fell in love with him right away. He was a rascally ginger, and we named him Harry after another rascally ginger across the pond. He fit into our family with ease, managing to capture the hearts of my husband and I, along with our other cats and dogs. He became our house cat extraordinaire and chief entertainer.

When Harry was old enough, we took him to the vet for his neutering surgery. They called me before the procedure to inform me that Harry was not a male cat, he was a female. She already loved her name, so we kept it. And that is how Harry became Harri.

For three years Harri snuggled, loved, and entertained us. From the beginning of the Covid 19 pandemic quarantine and working from home, she was always in my lap or very close by. She helped me cope with the changes and stresses surrounding the pandemic including the isolation and sometimes boredom of spending my days home alone.

On Christmas Eve 2021, we were excited to have our family over to celebrate as we had missed so many holiday celebrations in 2020. In the excitement and activity of fifteen guests and dinner on the stove, somehow Harri went missing. Our cats are fed by our back door and they often hang out there at mealtime. We think an unsuspecting guest opened the door for a breath of fresh air and she slipped out.

I was not aware that Harri was missing until late in the day and looking back to the last time we had seen her, six or seven hours had gone by. It is very bad for a housecat with no outdoor skills and no acclimation to the weather to be out on a winter day in Minnesota. We looked for her and called but there was no trace of her. The next days were cold, windy, snowy, and below zero. It is hard to imagine she could survive. Nonetheless, I posted her missing information on all the local sites I could think of.

It is now thirty days later and Harri has not been found. I miss her greatly each day. And I have learned, again, that I am not in control. Some things just happen because we don’t expect or prepare for them. Cats will run out the door without considering the consequences. A hostess in the middle of a gathering does not have the cat whereabouts on the top of mind. Cats are animals, and Harri did have a full belly, long fur coat and claws intact when she slipped outside. There is a chance she found a warm place to hunker down or perhaps a kindly person took her in.

People have reacted to my search for Harri with compassion and kindness that I have not experienced in a long time. Folks who might disagree on politics and public health policy are uniting with me to search for Harri. So many are praying for her safe return to me and looking for her with me. There have been four false alarms. Either the cat was spotted and not captured, or the captured cat was a male and not Harri.

I know there is much suffering in the world and many human tragedies that put a missing cat into a different perspective. I don’t know if Harri will ever come home. I hope she does as I truly miss her companionship. If she doesn’t, I will be sad and regretful that I was not more attentive to her on that day. I will also remember how my loss inspired many covid weary and politically suspicious people to put aside their differences and personal hardships to help a heartbroken woman search for her beloved pet. This is humanity.

Waste Not, Want Not, and Other Summer Wisdom by Sheri LeClair Banitt

So hot you can cook an egg on the sidewalk, but no one wants to because it’s too hot to go outside. This is day #8 with a temperature over 90 degrees in Minnesota. Most of those days were on the excessive heat warning advisory because of high temperatures and high humidity. Tonight at 6 pm, the temp is 96 with a ‘feels like’ 99. That’s pretty hot and it looks like we will not go below 90 for another ten days or so.

Two weeks ago I was covering my outdoor plants because of a frost warning and now we are sweltering in weather that we usually don’t see until July and August. Uff-da!

I am still working from home due to the pandemic and have an opportunity to impact my environment during this heat wave. I am aware of the extra energy needed to keep homes and businesses cool, so I want to do my part to limit unnecessary electricity usage. I have closed the blinds and pulled the curtains. This helps keep it cool and gives my air conditioner a break. It’s a little odd sitting in the dark and working, but then nothing has been normal throughout this pandemic, so I can roll with it.

It is hot and humid and we are in a drought. I can see my lawn turning brown. The flowers and plants are wilting. The river level is low. I am very aware of how fortunate I am to have a safe water supply at my fingertips in several rooms in my home. I don’t want to waste it so I am limiting laundry, washing dishes and bathing. We are doing what is necessary, but only washing full loads, and no bubble baths. I am watering the plants outside from the rain barrels around the house.

One of the things I have appreciated while working from home and socially distancing through the pandemic is that I have used my car very little. As a commuter, I normally add 30,000 miles each year to the odometer. This year I added about 5,000. That is less fuel used and less polution created.

I have done less shopping, bought fewer things and taken a closer look at the items in and around my home. I have made do with what I have and kept myself occupied with books, hobbies and crafts. I have spent much more time outdoors enjoying the nature around me.

So, on this hot day, I walked the dog and listened to the river and the birds and the kids playing outside. I sweated and complained and was able to commiserate with other walkers passing by. I made lemonade with fresh, clear, cold water from the tap in my comfortable, air conditioned home. I was able to work and earn a living while enjoying all of these things.

I am very fortunate to live in a wealthy country and to have a middle class lifestyle. I never want to take this for granted. I want to live joyfully and thankfully. This means I need to preserve and protect the natural resources around me so they can be shared with generations to follow.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Everywhere. All the time.

Summer Wedding 40 Years Ago by Sheri LeClair Banitt

40 years ago on June 6th, there was a wedding in Cannon Falls. Two kids, too young to be married and too young to know it. In our rural Minnesota town, it was fairly common, especially if there were no plans for college.

I thought my dress was unique, the tuxes one of a kind. Looking back, I see that almost every wedding in 1980-1985 looked the same. Pretty nonetheless.

Here’s me, all 117 pounds of me. I was heavier than all my friends and really wished I had lost weight for the wedding. These days, women are learning to love their bodies, no matter the size.

Still married after 40 years. What is the secret to staying married? Commitment, tolerance, kindness, love. Love is an action, not a feeling. If you’re not doing something, no one is feeling anything. If you want to stay married, stay married. Don’t give up, just do love.