Category: Boomer Learning

Finding Forever 2

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

The visitation, funeral, burial are done. The thank you cards have been sent. The fresh flowers are gone. I went back to work and now I am thinking deep thoughts.

Jeff was a long-time smoker. He was diagnosed with COPD and emphysema about 18 months ago when he had an exacerbation that landed him in the ICU for 11 days. That was not enough to make him quit smoking.

Looking back, I see that he was in much more serious condition from that time forward. But when living day to day with his stubborn and strong will to be normal, we just didn’t get it. Had I known we were on a timer, I would have done some things differently. But I see that we were saying our goodbyes in all the little ways that a restricting illness presents.

I began doing more and more of the chores and he rested more. He was on oxygen overnight and many other medications. It took all he had to go to work each day. His job was not easy, but he loved working and kept it up to the end.

We stayed home more; we were less active around the house and yard. We sat together and just enjoyed television, or visiting with our kids, or snuggling our dogs and cats. That was love. Forgiving, accepting, constant and true.

As I move forward, I see that I am already used to doing many things on my own. This makes me sad, and I know that one more day or month, or year, or decade would not be enough to satisfy the yearning for more time. We had our forever and it was good. I am sad that he cannot join me in my next forever, but I know we did our best and I have no regrets.

Finding a New Forever

By Sheri LeClair Banitt

We were married on June 6, 1981. I was 18, he was 22.

He died on June 5, 2024. I was 61, he was 65. 43 years passed since our wedding day, but I celebrated our anniversary alone.

We lived our marriage vows and stayed together until death parted us. I am thankful for the years and the tears and the love and the anguish that comes with a lifetime commitment. Every day was real and impactful, and our lives were intertwined. We raised two children and handled many life challenges, including the loss of our dairy farm in the 1980s and loss of jobs in 2008 and 2009. Through time and experience, we became one.

A three-year courtship and 43-year marriage cannot be mourned quickly, so I am back at work and trying to get into a new routine. We shared most of the household chores and finances but kept some things for him to do, and others for me. I am learning simple things that I never had to know before, like how to set up the sump pump. As I conquer each new thing, my impulse is to show him, or tell him what I have done. But he is gone, so I cry and smile and know that I did his thing on my own.

We have many pets who are looking for their favorite man. They can see his truck parked outside and wonder when he will come through the door. They wonder when he will make their dinner and take them outside. They look for him at bedtime and wonder why he isn’t there to say goodnight.

With all the loss, the hardest part for me is the change in Forever. I have no concept now of what my next days and years will be where I was so sure before. I need a new Forever and I have to find it on my own.

The Day Without my Phone by Sheri LeClair Banitt

As we get used to going back into the office for work, some habits must be relearned. I go to the office twice a week. The one-way commute is 45 minutes and the extra time cuts into my free thinking and productivity.

Once I am in the office, I enjoy being there. It’s all the prep that comes before the commute that steals my energy and focus. Do I have clean, office appropriate clothes? Do I have coffee? Should I pack a lunch? Did I put the dogs out? Is the door locked? Did I remember my laptop? Do I have gas in the car? Is there road construction? What time is my first meeting? And there are many more questions as the commute continues.

On Thursday, I pulled into the parking ramp and realized I had forgotten my phone at home. First meeting in less than an hour – no way I can go home and get it. Well, shoot! I have not been without my phone for years. So now what? I lead a large team, so it’s possible someone could be trying to contact me. My parents or husband may try to reach me. I am always there, for everyone, via my phone. OOF, this could be rough.

I was able to let my work team know I was missing my phone via interoffice chat. My daughter works at my same place, so I chatted her and she let my husband know about the missing phone. So there. I was ready for a day without my phone.

Guess what happened? Nothing. I worked all day, as usual. I didn’t check my phone multiple times that day. I didn’t know who posted what on the socials. Neither did I think about who posted what on the socials. It was a non-issue. Without the visual of the phone in front of me, I didn’t miss it.

I was steadfast in my Boomer roots. My thoughts were uninterrupted. They were my own. They were not compared to anyone else’s thoughts or activities. The images I viewed were live, in color, real life things and people. It was like I never had a whole world in my hands with a camera, computer and shopping assistant. It was fine. I was fine. I liked it.

And then I went home and got my phone. And that was the end of the old-timey experiment.

HR Regulations Have Improved the Work Application Process by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I work for a financial services company, supervising a customer operations team. I hire for entry level, customer service positions and frequently get first time job seekers who are straight out of college, and displaced older workers, looking for a fresh start.

I have two specialists on my team who interview with me. We have a standard set of questions designed to help us find people who will be able to do the work in our area. Our job is to find qualified, capable individuals and then give them the tools they need to succeed.

Looking through the box of ‘Old Papers From the Office’ that my grandfather had saved gave me a new perspective on why we do what we do today. He is no longer living, but I knew my grandpa to be a fair, honest, caring person. His job was important to him and I recall that he was a lifelong learner and continued to find new practices that helped the workers he represented. Watch to see how far we have advanced in privacy practices since his day.

My White Privilege by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I am reluctant to talk about the ways I experienced 2020. There were so many bad things happening. Covid 19 brought so many changes and challenges. We had a contentious election with a President who brought out the worst in everyone.

And then George Floyd was murdered in broad daylight, on the street, with a crowd watching. This rocked my world. I usually don’t talk about it because I am white and I have not suffered the injustice of racism. I don’t want to trivialize the plight of the oppressed with complaints of my feelings. But if I am going to make a difference, I need to speak.

Digital Storytelling Workshop – Take 2 with Dr. Stacey Patton and Class. By Sheri LeClair Banitt

Last spring I started themillennialboomer blog with no knowledge of how to do it. Shortly thereafter, my daughter told me about an opportunity to take a free class about Digital Storytelling with Dr. Stacey Patton through a link on Dr. Patton’s social media. I responded to the link and was fortunate to get signed up for the class. Learning to be a Digital Media Bawse was fun and empowering! I learned how to use many different digital tools and quickly realized that I need to learn more.

I love to write about whatever is happening in my world. A big part of my world is navigating the workplace as one of the seniors who are not yet ready to retire. I need to work until age 67 if I want my full social security–and I believe it will still be available. I work primarily with millennials and the differences between us add a richness to the work culture in addition to some challenges. See what Ellen DeGeneres has to say about the differences between Baby Boomers and Millennials.

So if I want to attract an audience to hear about my life and my experiences, I need some skills in addition to writing. And that is where this class comes in. I am confident that in ‘Take 2’, I will revisit what I learned last session and gain a greater understanding of how to appeal to the digital world. My goal for this second course is to create a better vlog presence. I did a couple vlog entries with the first class, but they were a bit awkward and amatuer. I can do better.

Like a Bawse!

Vlogging – it aint easy by Sheri LeClair Banitt

I love my new recording equipment and tried my hand again at a vlogging entry. I am one who learns by doing. And since I haven’t done this much, you can see that I am a beginner. That’s never stopped me before. I have a long history of learning about tech by trying it to see what happens. I need to learn to edit my work, but for now, just talking for the camera is an accomplishment I am proud of. More later.