Category: Boomer Values

Healing a Broken Arm by Sheri LeClair Banitt

The Fall

Ouch!

Monday, February 21, 2022 started like any other work day. I have been working from home during the pandemic and at 10:00 a.m., I headed outside with my dog for a walk on my break. The path looked clear, but we had wildly fluctuating temps and precipitation over a few days, and there was an icy patch I did not see. I took a step and landed on my back with my dog looking on in confusion. The pain was immediate and as I rolled to my side to get up, I felt my arm snap. It was only ten degrees outside and I knew I could not lay there, I needed to get up and go home.

I always take my cell phone with me when walking and I was able to get it out. However, my right arm was just swinging. The fingers worked, but I could not lift it to get to the key pad. I walked about a block on the trail, across a bridge, with my now-spooked dog in tow, and got home to my front door. I was unable to unlock the door with just my left arm working and had to make my way to the back entrance. I got in the house and tried again to call for help. I called my husband who did not answer. Then I called my daughter who answered and told her, “I’m hurt, call dad, tell him to come home”. I called my other daughter and asked her to call my boss and let her know what happened. My husband got the message and was home in about twenty minutes.

At the emergency room, I told the nurse, “I think I’m going to pass out”. The pain was intense and made me feel dizzy and sick to my stomach. They gave me a shot of morphine and covered me in a heated blanket which calmed me down immensely. X-rays confirmed a fractured humerus with displacement. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/humerus-fracture-upper-arm-fracture I was sent home to await scheduling for surgery. I left the ER in the hospital gown they gave me after cutting off my shirt and removing my bra.

The two days waiting for surgery were difficult for me and my husband/caretaker. I took off my jeans and kept on the gown I was given in the ER. Even with the narcotic pain reliever, there was literally no position I could be in that reduced my pain from a nine on the [low 1- to high 10] pain scale. My loved ones moved my recliner upstairs in the bedroom so I could be close to the bathroom, my bed, and the television. The days passed with me moaning and trying to sleep. I never changed out of the gown, and only put on sweat pants to go to surgery two days later.

The Surgery

My expert team including nurses, anesthesiologist, and surgeon corrected my arm within two hours.

The pain was reduced from a 9 to a 7 after surgery. Even with the nerve block, the oxy, and the Tylenol, there was a great deal of pain and discomfort. I could only stay in one position for about an hour and a half before I would need to move again. I spent the first few days in the recliner. The nerve block wore off on day three and hit like a sledgehammer. Once that resolved, the pain lessened and it was more a challenge of getting comfortable to sleep.

The Recovery

I spent the next several days sitting still during the day and then moving around the house all night trying to get comfortable for sleeping; in bed, in the recliner, on the couch, back to bed, the recliner, the couch, etcetera. This is when I realized the need to build a better recliner. Something in between a recliner and and the space chair used by astronauts to prepare for space travel. I would often get in the correct position to relieve arm pain, but then needed to tip to one side so I could sleep without my head lolling one way or another.

The swelling went down after eight days, the bruising disappeared after two weeks. I stopped using the strong pain pills after ten days and began using Tylenol at night to get comfortable for sleeping. After week three, I was able to sleep in bed all night with many pillows and position changes.

My arm is very sore and mostly immobile. I gain more movement each day and with the new movement comes a new ache or pain. I know this will continue for many months as I continue to heal and regain function. I am able to focus on my recovery because I have extended illness pay from my awesome employer. Due to my years of tenure, I am able to take six weeks to recover at full pay. I am so grateful for this time to concentrate on my health and I look forward to getting back to work.

The Take-Aways

  1. One slip on the ice resulted in an injury that will take months to heal.
  2. Total cost of emergency room and surgery $37,000.00.
  3. My insurance will pay most of the expenses.
  4. I have short term disability from my employer that offers six weeks of full pay while I recover.
  5. My out of pocket cost for this accident will impact my budget more than the current gas price or inflation.
  6. Having a safety net of access to great healthcare, insurance, job security, disability pay and a family to support me means I will recover well and without financial distress.
  7. A person earning minimum wage may not fare so well after an accident or illness.
  8. We focus too much in America on the little things that impact a few and turn a blind eye to the big things that affect everyone.
  9. If we cannot agree on universal healthcare for all, we should look for other ways to get care to those who need it.
  10. Instead of focusing on whether or not to mask during a pandemic, we should work on improving healthcare infrastructure for current and future needs.

Homeless in Minnesota by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Experiencing homelessness in Minnesota is especially harsh in our cold winter climate and with all the Covid restrictions and perils.

There are as many reasons for being homeless as there are people experiencing it. I am not a politician or a lawmaker and I don’t have the means to give everyone a home who needs one. But I have compassion and empathy and I want to share some observations.

There are people experiencing homelessness all around us. Some are young, some are old. They may work or they may not. Some are sound of mind and body, some are not. Many experience mental illness and/or addictions that make it hard to get a job, hold a job, make good decisions and assimilate into the mainstream economy.

When it is ten below zero outside, the shelters are full, stores and public places are closed or have restricted hours due to Covid 19, it is not helpful to spout “tough love” narrative. We can help by opening our hearts and really feeling the plight of our fellow humans.

Right in our neighborhoods, there are people without food, without adequate clothing and shelter; with no where to go and no place to belong. Public shelters are not always available and are not very safe, because desperate people in desperate situations will behave badly. Your property might be stolen and when you only own the items you can carry, it is a big loss when they are gone. Losing your boots or gloves may mean you lose a toe or a finger.

People experiencing mental illness want to be independent and have autonomy. Often the illness can cause disruptive behavior that families and others don’t know how to handle. These people need ongoing medical care and oversight. We just don’t do enough in America to help these folks among us.

Minnesota has a large tax surplus this year and my desire is to see some of it spent on affordable or free housing to first get everyone in out of the cold. Next, work on long term treatment plans for those with mental and/or physical health problems. Finally, permanent housing, and employment support for those who can work. This would be more meaningful to me than a refund check for $175.00 as proposed by our governor. When we work together, we can solve big issues; that was the reason for collecting the taxes in the first place.

School Shooting by Sheri LeClair Banitt

https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/1-student-killed-another-injured-shooting-outside-richfield-school/89-3e77b3ca-ed16-4ae7-8661-751be3ab661d?fbclid=IwAR2fC-aA9724c8IDPhsuVP5mSAl_hn84Yt5g8cXjqb7vZ3vSn_BlXAE6pCw

One thing boomers did not have to deal with were school shootings like the ones that are increasingly common today. I remember practicing for fire drills, and maybe a bomb scare on a sunny day, but the need to prepare for an active shooter was not part of our school curriculum.

I have been working from home due to the Covid 19 pandemic since March of 2020. I can listen to the radio, watch the news on television and check online news sources throughout the day. The news I’m getting is rife with illness, suffering, anger, violence and tragedy. Yesterday, while attending a zoom meeting, I got a notification of an active school shooting in the city where my daughter teaches. I quickly sent off a text asking if she was okay. My heart skipped some beats while I learned the details of the situation. She was okay, her students were okay. But two students were not okay. Two had been shot while standing in front of their school and we have since learned that one of them died.

The suspects in this shooting are kids. Kids with guns. Shooting kids outside of school. No apparent motive, but names were dropped in the news report of another shooter, another shooting victim, a trial judge, and a local activist. Hearing those names brings to mind the recent conflict in the Minneapolis community around the existing systemic racism, resulting in racially motivated mistreatment of people of color by the police. The responses to those events have deepened the divide between those who believe Black Lives Matter and those who are angered by the idea.

But I am not focusing on all of that. I am thinking about kids going to school and teachers doing their best to prepare for class. I am thinking about my daughter heading off to school for the past two years wearing goggles, face mask, face shield and a microphone so the kids can hear her through all the protective gear. I am thinking about the times she has cried in frustration because there aren’t enough resources to teach the kids, keep them fed and give them the tools they need to learn. I am thinking about all the teachers, para professionals, administrators and others who miss lunch and bathroom breaks, and spend all of their free time planning lessons and learning to teach online because they love their students and want to keep them safe and help them succeed.

The students are the ones we love and want to protect. And in the split second it takes to pull a trigger, we are losing them to violence and bad decisions. Often the shooters are young people. When kids have access to such powerful weapons that yield immediate and devastating results, how do we keep them safe? How do we save the innocent victims, and how do we save the ones who pull the trigger? I don’t know. But I do know if we want to get to a solution, we have to keep asking the hard questions and then really listen to what we hear so we are better prepared to take action for change.

Booming and Blogging My Way by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Covid Dress code

Now that I have resolved to revive the blog, I have been looking at other ‘Boomer’ blogs. While I have enjoyed looking at several of them, the experience did not inspire me at all. Rather, I ended my research feeling undereducated, discouraged and inadequate. That’s a lot of feelings for anyone, let alone someone trying to do something new. So, I decided to break it down, one feeling at time to see if there is something to be done.

Undereducated. Clearly I do not know how to produce a professional blog. I don’t have sponsors, or readers, or any cool stuff outside of the life I’m living. I don’t have fun links or fancy videos. (Well, maybe a couple; but not enough to qualify as professional.) But, I do have a BS in Oral Communication Studies from The University of St, Catherine. That’s educated, right? And, I did take a digital media class with Dr. Stacey Patton and that was an epic learning opportunity. https://themillennialboomer.com/2020/08/04/make-room-for-growth/ I am a customer service supervisor of a large team, and believe me, that is an education every day. So I don’t have a professional blog – is that the goal?

Stress busters to help me think

Discouraged. Well, this is not the first time I have encountered discouragement. In this case, it is self imposed. None of those professional bloggers pointed me out to say I am not worthy of blogging. If they had, so what? I can do things that make me happy, right? So, I’m different. Does that mean I should stop doing my thing?

Inadequate. I am not an expert on travel. I am not an expert on beauty tips, or fancy food cooking, or mood disorders, or retirement funding or dating in the golden years, or any specific boomer subject. But is there an actual rule that all boomer bloggers must be experts on old-age things?

I can make great cocktails
Yes, I do crochet
Fake parrot is easier than a hanging plant to water

I am not your typical Boomer blogger. I am a boomer who loves her boomerish ways and interacting with millennials every day. Think, Doogie Howser, and you will be closer to my blog culture; old fashioned tools, old fashioned ideas about what’s cool. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doogie_Howser,_M.D.

As the saying goes; everything is hard until it’s easy, and everything is new until it’s old. So maybe it’s not that I lack the skills needed, maybe it’s that I am at the beginner end of the blogger skill assessment. Every expert was a beginner at one time, right? Any maybe it’s enough to enjoy the process. Maybe there are other boomers out there who just want the comfort of reading the written word without all the bells, whistles, flashing lights, sound bites and testimonials the millennials are so fond of. Or maybe… the millennials can teach this boomer how to join ‘the socials’, 2022 style.

Summer Wedding 40 Years Ago by Sheri LeClair Banitt

40 years ago on June 6th, there was a wedding in Cannon Falls. Two kids, too young to be married and too young to know it. In our rural Minnesota town, it was fairly common, especially if there were no plans for college.

I thought my dress was unique, the tuxes one of a kind. Looking back, I see that almost every wedding in 1980-1985 looked the same. Pretty nonetheless.

Here’s me, all 117 pounds of me. I was heavier than all my friends and really wished I had lost weight for the wedding. These days, women are learning to love their bodies, no matter the size.

Still married after 40 years. What is the secret to staying married? Commitment, tolerance, kindness, love. Love is an action, not a feeling. If you’re not doing something, no one is feeling anything. If you want to stay married, stay married. Don’t give up, just do love.

Coping in 2021 by Sheri LeClair Banitt

On February 7, 2020 I started The Millennial Boomer blog with optimism and glee. I was not ready, but I started anyway. I always wanted to blog and I had the free time to do it. The blog was going to highlight my experiences as a Boomer in the workplace with all the Millennials. I love my job and the people I work with and it seemed like others could relate to my world. But I wasn’t quite sure how to use Word Press or how the blog would turn out.

I had a few fun entries about the stuff I do and think about. It was fun and light hearted. And then Covid came. My employer sent me and my work team home along with over 2,000 fellow associates to keep us safe from the virus. This was a good decision and has protected us from illness and death. But it caused extra work and extra stress. Navigating the changes made it harder to get the blogging done. But I got in a rhythm and posted about my hobbies and the fun things I was doing while quarantined at home.

And then came the murder of George Floyd. This shook me deeply and changed my perspective on many things. Because I was working from home, I was more in touch with social media and saw the video on Facebook as it was happening. I was horrified to see the incident and had to stop working for the day to process all of it. I tried to move on with the blog but started to feel that I needed to make changes.

Around this time, my daughter, who follows Dr. Stacey Patton on twitter heard about a free class she was offering to help people learn how to use Word Press. I signed up for the class and was accepted. I was so excited to learn about digital media from an expert at a time when I needed guidance.

The class was fun and informative and I was surrounded by people like me who needed help navigating the digital media world. I created many fun projects that are posted on the blog. But the most valuable take away was getting to know my classmates, who were mostly people of color. I got a whole new perspective on what it means to be in America when you are white.

I learned about racial inequality in America. I started to understand things that affect me daily that I never even thought about. I learned about white privilege and how I have it, whether I know it or not. I learned how ignorance is embedded in white supremacy and how I unknowingly support it.

And once you know a thing, you cannot unknow it. That is when everything became very hard for me and the joy of blogging disappeared. I felt the weight of the pandemic and the heavier weight that the murder of George Floyd brought to public awareness.

Then came the Presidential election and the contentious discourse in the media. It was impossible to coast in safety on the sidelines. The two political parties were so opposite that you could not avoid taking a stand. I took the side of love, compassion, kindness, tolerance and charity. This made me a target for many Trump loving Republicans who see these ideologies as weaknesses instead of virtues. Many hours of conversation with friends and family, online and in person revealed thoughts, feelings and values that had been previously hidden.

When Biden/Harris won the election, there was no peace. Many Trump supporters backed his assertion that the election was stolen from him. Their anger soon brought us to the insurrection at the Capitol in January. Then came more tension, more polarity, more reasons to leave friendships and distance from family when there is no way to bridge the chasm.

With all the social unrest, I still had to manage the increased workload and challenging new processes that Covid 19 brought to the workplace.

So, the blog moved down in my priorities. I also worried about what to publish. I wondered if it was right to talk about funny, silly, frivolous things when real life was demanding such deep introspection.

After taking a break from the blog for a bit, here’s what I decided:

Life goes on during good times and bad times.

I have white privilege.

Talking about disagreements is how we gain understanding. Understanding is the first step in making changes.

Blogging is fun. I can support changes to eliminate systemic racism and this does not eliminate my right to happiness and my ability to experience and share joy.

Hope you’ll join me in my continued blogging journey.

Peace.

New Me 2021 by Sheri LeClair Banitt

No make up, no glasses, just me in the winter.

The River Walk has been a repeating theme on my blog.  This is because I have been working from home since March 2020 due to the covid 19 pandemic.  I have replaced the 45-minute commute to and from work with two walks along the river instead.

The Little Cannon River Falls 12-26-2020

I’m thankful to be working from home. Even so, it’s not easy. I lead a large customer service team with a fast-paced workload and a changing daily volume of work.  In order to be successful as a team, I need to be successful as a leader. This takes extra care when working remotely. I have to understand what everyone is doing, how they’re feeling about it and make sure that everything is getting done.  The emotional work is harder when you can’t see each other in person, face to face.

I love my job and I’m good at it. I think it’s because I’ve spent a lifetime caring for and about other people. My greatest talent is generating enthusiasm and cultivating pride of accomplishment.  I lead from behind, and most people don’t even realize my input.  It’s my calling, it’s what I do, I can’t not do this.  I love having my team in the spotlight, I love seeing them succeed. And I hate being in the spotlight, though I do want to succeed.  It is the fear of judgement that keeps me in the shadows.

I’ve spent my life striving for more; always wanting to do better and be better.  I have compared myself to everyone I meet and always find myself wanting.  I’m not as smart, not as educated, don’t work for any worthy cause, haven’t suffered enough, haven’t overcome enough, don’t have as much money, not as thin, not as good-looking, don’t have as many friends. These are the thoughts that propel me to work harder, study more, do more, be more.  It’s like walking uphill and never reaching the top.

I’ve done many things, but never achieved the expert status I’ve been looking for.  There is always someone doing it better. There is always another book, another talk show, another podcast with all the secrets to being best.

The new pace of the pandemic has given me time to slow down and reflect. Looking back, I realize that while striving for something else, I have missed many wonderful things within my reach, like the River Walk. 

This path has been just outside my door for 27 years and I’ve never appreciated it.  People travel from miles away to walk the trails that pass by the meeting of the Big Cannon and the Little Cannon rivers.  There is nature and wildlife for miles within steps from my home. Since March, I have discovered the seasons in ways I haven’t seen since childhood.  I have been out walking in sunshine and rain, heat and cold, humidity and dry winds.  I have seen birds and fish and dogs with their people out enjoying the world without words, without conversation, without judgement. It’s given me time to think about the people and places I have taken for granted and never really appreciated. I wish I could go back in time and do some things over.  I would do them better, that’s for sure.

And now the world is changing.  As the airlines and internet have brought us closer, the human condition has pushed us apart.  We are mortal and subject to disease, illness and death.   For most of us, the reality of this pandemic is the first time we’ve had to face our fragility.  In order to keep others safe, we’ve had to give up some freedom.  We’re staying home, keeping apart, wearing masks to avoid sharing our breath, and thereby our germs with each other. We’re not used to depending on ourselves for schooling, food, entertainment, and worship.  In these most trying times, it is clear that we need each other to survive, even with opposing political views, lifestyles and ideology. The sudden change of routines has left many feeling isolated and vulnerable.  Some have fallen to despair and depression.

While I have moments of both, I choose to re-imagine…me.  What if I am complete?  What if I am enough? What if I stop striving and start living? This thinking has energized me in a way nothing else has. I am giving myself permission to be me.  I am going to do the things I want to do in the way I want to do them.  I don’t have to consult the experts – I am the expert. If you can do something better than me, good for you.  I will cheer you on and applaud your success; that is my calling and it gives me joy.

 But for me, I am going to enjoy myself without words, without conversation, without judgement. I am going to be me in the way only I can.  I am going to walk the seasons with the river. There will be sunshine and rain, heat and cold, humidity and dry winds. I will take my place in humanity without apology or arrogance. And it will be enough. And I will let it be.

What is Optimism? by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Weeks after the U.S. Presidential election, we are still in limbo as we wait for #46 to be named. We have a second waive of coronavirus threatening our healthcare workers and school systems. Many people are out of work and lining up for grocery giveaways. Others feel certain someone is scheming to harm them.

Amid concern for the mental health of our youth and isolated adults, we are tasked with the business of carrying on. No matter how much inconvenience, hardship and heartache we feel, we must continue on with our lives. The way we live will certainly impact the outcome of our difficulties.

I am disturbed by current events and have fallen into despair from time to time. Even so, I choose happiness. I choose joy. I choose to believe that my actions matter and that my actions are formed from my thoughts and feelings. What I think, I believe. What I believe, I do, and what I do becomes my world. I choose optimism.

Optimism appears at the end of the day, when the sun sets and the business of the day is over. Optimism appears in the quiet of the evening routines. I smile when I pick my homegrown Asian Pepper to spice up the chicken soup simmering in the pot. When I pulled the tiny seed from a dried pepper and dropped it into a 2 inch pot of soil, I gave it some water and hoped it would grow. It took no more effort than a few teaspoons of water each week for my seed to grow, bloom, bear fruit and provide me with a delicious reminder that sometimes the best thing you can do is to hope for the best and believe in what you cannot see.

Presidential Election 2020 by Sheri LeClair Banitt

Today is election day in America. There are reports that one third of Americans have already submitted their ballots.

We are so polarized that it is hard to imagine an outcome that will benefit anyone. Why are we so divided? I think people are worn out and tired. Many are still recovering from the last recession of 2008. Some are doing well and don’t want to lose hard earned gains. Others have never been well and continue to struggle financially as well as socially. All of us want to feel safe and that means different things to different people.

Donald Trump ushered in a new kind of politics and it is bringing out the meanness in people. I have a hard time reconciling with people I have known throughout my life who are suddenly calling everyone names, behaving with rudeness and selfishness while at the same time glorifying the one man who is least concerned with their well being or mine.

People who claim to be Christian ignore everything about Christian teaching and Christian values while they angrily uphold the rights of the unborn. Yet, they are the same ones who are unwilling to say Black Lives Matter. They merely say all lives matter, thereby reducing the message of racial inequality that people of color are trying to relay.

Some people say it doesn’t matter how our President behaves or what he believes, as long as he is pro-life, reduces taxes and makes the economy great. I don’t believe any of those things are possible without moral and ethical integrity, empathy and love toward all people. I don’t believe it is possible to behave like an undisciplined child and lead a nation to greatness.

No matter the outcome of the Presidential election of 2020, I want more than to ‘Make America Great Again’, I want to make America better than ever before. I know we can do it, but I am not sure how much effort it is going to take. The score was never settled for past racial injustice against natives, involuntary transplants and immigrants looking for a better life.

I hope Americans begin to disregard the political rhetoric that tells us there are only two paths for life in America. I hope Americans remember that we are a diverse nation of strong people who can find a way forward when we work together.