By Sheri LeClair Banitt
Now four months since my husband’s death and some things are getting easier, some things are still hard, and new things are hard. All the cliches are true. You just cannot imagine or plan for all the ways loss hits you.
There are many days where I still cannot believe this happened. Then days where the reality of forever hits like a brick. This is a status I did not choose and do not enjoy. I loved my husband, and I loved being married to him.
So, life goes on and so do I. I have many middle-class safety nets to support me on this journey. I am not a rich widow, but I have enough to live. I have a great job with benefits, a home, and means to pay my basic bills. These things give me the luxury to indulge when I feel weak and need to just be still and breathe.
Family and friends have supported me in ways that truly surprise and delight me. Regardless of the turmoil in our world and political climate, people still rise up to help and care for each other. Many casual acquaintances have lifted me up with a word or smile when I needed it.
I have begun to look outside my old normal to see what could become the new normal of my choosing. With my whole life in flux, it is a great time to experiment with new ideas, new activities and new connections.
Today I joined a gym and signed up with a trainer. I am looking forward to spending some energy on my wellbeing. I think this will help restore my feeling of control about my life. Hoping to move actively into winter without fear of slipping on ice or just getting more sedentary trying to avoid it.